Homilies on John 73.1–73.4

“Simon Peter says, ‘Lord, where are you going?’ Jesus answered him, ‘Where I am going you cannot follow me now; but [you will follow] afterward.’” Love is a great good; it is fiercer than fire and rises up to heaven itself; and there is no obstacle that will be able to check its rushing impulse. The most fervent Peter, at any rate, on hearing, “Where I am going you cannot come,” what does he say? “Lord, where are you going?” And he said this not so much wishing to learn as desiring to follow. To say openly, “I am coming,” he did not yet dare; but he says, “Where are you going?” But Christ answered not his words but his thought. For that he wanted this is clear from what Christ said. For what does he say? “Where I am going you cannot follow me now.” Do you see that he longed to follow, and asks for this reason? And on hearing “you will follow afterward,” not even so did he restrain his longing, although he had received good hopes; but he presses so hard as to say, “Why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” For since he had shaken off the fear of being the traitor and was seen to be himself one of the genuine ones, he asks boldly, by himself, thereafter, while the others are silent. What are you saying, Peter? He said, “You cannot”; and you say, “I can”? Then you will know by experience itself that your love is nothing without the presence of the influence from above. From this it is clear that he permitted that fall too out of care for him. For he wished to teach him by the first words; but since he persisted in his vehemence, he himself did not throw him or push him into the denial, but left him alone, so that he might learn his own weakness. He said that he must be handed over, and Peter says, “Far be it from you; this shall never happen to you.” He was rebuked and was not taught; but again, when Christ wished to wash his feet, he says, “You shall never wash my feet.” Again, hearing, “You cannot follow me now,” he says, “Even if all deny you, I will not deny you.” Since then it was likely that he would be carried away even into folly by practicing contradiction of him, he teaches him thereafter not to oppose him. At any rate Luke too, hinting at this, says that he said, “And I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail”; that is, that you may not be lost altogether; teaching him humility by everything, and proving that human nature by itself is nothing. For since his great love made him contradictory, he brings him to his senses thereafter, so that he might not suffer this in later times too, when he would take on the stewardship of the world, but … so that, remembering what he suffered, he might know himself. And see the violence of the fall. For he did not suffer this once or twice, but was so beside himself that in a short time he spoke the word of denial three times; so that he might learn that he did not love as he was loved. And yet to the one who had fallen so he says again, “Do you love me more than these?” Thus it happened not from coldness, but from being stripped of the help from above. He accepts Peter's love, then, but cuts off the contradiction born of it. For if you love, you ought to obey the one you love. He said to you and to those with you, “You cannot”; why do you contend? Do you not know what God's refusal is? But since you are not willing to learn in this way that what I say cannot fail to happen, you will learn it in the denial; and yet this seemed to you then far less credible. For this you did not even know; but the knowledge of that you had yourself in your soul; and yet what was not even expected happened. “I will lay down my life for you.” For since he had heard that no one has greater love than this, he leapt forward at once, being insatiable and wishing to reach the summit. But Christ, showing that it belongs to him alone to promise these things with authority, says, “Before the rooster crows”; that is, now. For the interval was not long; he was speaking late at night, and the first and second watch had passed. “Let not your heart be troubled.” He says this because it was likely that on hearing this they were troubled. For if the chief, and one so ardent, heard that he would deny him three times before the rooster crowed, it was likely that they would expect to undergo some great calamity, able to overturn even adamantine souls. Since then it was likely that, reasoning thus, they were beside themselves, see how he comforts them, saying, “Let not your heart be troubled”; by this first showing the power of his divinity, that he knows what they had in their soul and brings it into the open. “Believe in God, believe also in me”; that is, all the terrible things will pass. For faith in me and in the one who begot me is stronger than what is coming upon you, and will let none of the difficulties prevail. Then he adds, “In my Father's house are many dwelling places.” As he comforts Peter in his distress, saying, “But you will follow afterward,” so to these too he holds out this hope. For so that they might not think the promise had been given to him alone, he says, “In my Father's house are many dwelling places. If it were not so, I would have told you; I go to prepare a place for you”; that is, the same region that receives Peter will receive you too. For there is great abundance of lodgings there, and one cannot say that it needs preparing. For since he had said, “You cannot follow me now,” so that they might not think they had been cut off altogether, he added, “that where I am, you also may be.” I have shown such zeal for this matter that I would already have been about it, had it not long ago been prepared for you; showing that they must be very confident and trusting.

Then, so that he might not seem to say these things as if beguiling them, but that they might believe that it is so, he adds, “And where I am going you know, and the way you know.” Do you see how he gives them proof that these things were not said idly? And he says this because he perceived that their soul now sought to learn this. For Peter said what he said not in order to learn but in order to follow. But since he was rebuked, and what had until then seemed impossible Christ himself had declared possible, and its seeming impossible led Peter into a desire to know it accurately, therefore he says to the others, “And the way you know.” For as when he said, “You will deny me,” though no one had said anything beforehand, searching what was in the heart he said, “Do not be troubled,” so here too, by saying “You know,” he showed the desire in their minds, and himself gives them an occasion to ask. Peter said “Where are you going?” from great affection, but Thomas from fear: “Lord, we do not know where you are going.” We do not know the place, he says; how shall we know the way that leads there? And see with how much reserve. For he did not say, “Tell us the place,” but, “We do not know where you are going.” For all had long been in labor to learn this. For if the Jews were at a loss, although they wished to be rid of him, much more did those who wished never to be separated from him want to learn. They were afraid to ask him, but they ask nevertheless, from great longing and anguish. What then does Christ say? “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” Why then, when asked by Peter, “Where are you going?”, did he not say at once, “I am going to the Father, and you cannot come now,” but introduced such a long circuit of words, combining questions and answers? To the Jews he reasonably did not say this; but why not to these? He said both to these and to the Jews that he came out from God and goes to God; and now he says it more clearly than before. Besides, to the Jews he did not say it so clearly. For if he had said, “You cannot come to the Father except through me,” they would at once have thought the thing pride; but now, having concealed it, he threw them into anguish. And why, someone says, did he speak this way to the disciples and to Peter? He knew his great eagerness, and that he would press on all the more from this, troubling him. To draw him away, then, he conceals it. But having achieved what he wanted through the obscurity and the concealing of the saying, he uncovers it again. For having said, “Where I am, no one can come,” he added, “In my Father's house are many dwelling places,” and again, “No one comes to the Father except through me.” He did not wish to say this to them at the beginning, so as not to throw them into greater dejection; but when [he had calmed] them, then he says it. For by the rebuke of Peter he cast out much of their dejection, and, falling into fear lest they hear the same things, they were more restrained. “I am the way.” This is the proof of “No one comes except through me”; and “the truth and the life,” of the certainty that these things will be. Nothing from me, then, is falsehood, if I am the truth; and if I am also the life, not even death itself will be able to prevent you from coming. Or again: if I am the way, you will not need someone to lead you by the hand; and if I am also the truth, what is said is not falsehood; and if I am also the life, even if you die, you will obtain what was spoken of. The saying about the way they both understood and confessed; but the rest they did not know; yet they did not dare to say what they did not know. Nevertheless they received great comfort from the way. If then I am lord, he says, of bringing to the Father, you will certainly [come] there. For it is not possible to come by another way. And having said before, “No one can come to me unless the Father draws him,” and again, “If I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all to myself,” and now again, “No one comes to the Father except through me,” he shows himself equal to the one who begot him. And how, having said, “Where I am going you know, and the way you know,” did he add, “If you had known me, you would have known my Father also; and from now on you know him”? He does not contradict himself: they knew him, but not as they ought. For they knew God, but not yet the Father; for later the Spirit came upon them and wrought all knowledge in them. What he says is something like this: if you had known my essence and my dignity, you would have known that of the Father too. “And from now on you will know him, and you have seen him” (the one in the future, the other in the present); that is, through me. And by seeing he means knowledge in the mind. For those who are seen we can both see and not know; but those who are known we cannot both know and not know. Therefore he says, “And you have seen him,” just as it says, “He was seen also by angels.” And yet the essence itself was not seen; but nevertheless it says “he was seen,” clearly as it was possible for them to see. And it is said this way so that you may learn that the one who has seen him knows the one who begot him. They beheld him not in his naked essence, but clothed with flesh. And elsewhere too it is wont to call knowledge seeing; as when it says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” And by the pure it means not those freed from sexual immorality only, but from all sins; for every sin puts filth in the soul.

Let us then do everything to wipe away the filth. The washing [of baptism] wipes it away first; and afterward there are many other ways of every kind as well. For God, being a lover of humankind, gave us even after that ways of release of many kinds, of which the first of all is the one through almsgiving. “For by almsgiving [and acts of faith sins are purged away].” But by almsgiving I do not mean that which comes from injustice; for that is not almsgiving but cruelty and inhumanity. For what is the benefit of stripping one and clothing another? For the thing must begin from pity; but this is inhumanity. For even if we give all that we have from others, it is no gain to us. And Zacchaeus shows it, who said he would then propitiate God, when he had given [back four times what he had taken. But we, robbing without limit] and giving a little, think we make God propitious …

… not knowing that we provoke him more. For tell me, if you dragged a dead and rotting donkey from the crossroads and the streets and brought it to the altar, would not everyone stone you as accursed and abominable? What then, if I prove that the sacrifice from robbery is more abominable than this? What defense shall we find? For let us suppose some treasure has come from robbery: does it not stink worse than a dead donkey? Do you want to learn how great the rottenness of sin is? Hear the prophet saying, “My wounds have grown foul and festered.” And you with words ask God to forget the evils you do; but you yourself, through what you do, robbing and grasping, make him remember them continually, laying your sin upon the altar. And now this is not the only sin, but there is also one worse than it: that you defile the souls of the saints. For the altar is a stone, and it is sanctified; but those souls continually carry Christ himself; and do you dare send to them from such uncleanness? “No,” he says, “not that money itself, but other money.” This is laughable and nonsense. Do you not know that even if a drop of injustice falls into a great mass of money, all of it is defiled? As one who throws dung into a clean spring makes it all unclean, so too greed, once it has entered wealth, makes everything stink with the foul smell from it. Then we wash our hands on entering the church, but our heart no longer? Do the hands utter a voice? The soul utters the words; on it God looks; the body's cleanness is of no use when that is defiled. For what is the benefit if you wipe clean the outer hands, but keep the inner ones unclean? For this is the terrible thing, overturning everything: that, fearing small things, we despise great ones. To pray with unwashed hands is a matter of indifference; but with an unwashed mind, this is the last of all evils. Hear [what was said] also to the Jews [who were busy] about such [washings: “Wash] your heart from wickedness. How long will thoughts of your toils be in you?” Let us too wash ourselves, not with mire but with clean water: with almsgiving, and not with greed. First be rid of robbing, and then show almsgiving. Let us turn away from evil and do good. Stay your hands from greed, and so lead them to almsgiving. But if with the same hands we strip others, even if it is not with what was taken from them that we clothe [the poor], not even so do we escape punishment. For the occasion of propitiation becomes the occasion of every offense. For it is better not to show mercy than to show mercy in this way. For it would have been better for Cain too not to offer at all. And if he who brought the lesser things provoked God, how will the one who gives what belongs to others not provoke him? I told you, he says, not to rob; and do you honor me from it? What do you think, that I am pleased with these things? Then he will say to you, “You supposed lawlessness, that I would be like you. I will reprove you and set your sins before your face.” But may no one hear this voice; but having done pure almsgiving and keeping our lamps bright, may we so enter into the bridal chamber, by the grace and love for humankind of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.