Homilies on 1 Thessalonians 6.3

For why, tell me, did this not happen in ancient times? [Why] did he let Abraham and Isaac live a long time? Surely because even while Isaac was alive, Abraham preferred God. He said at least, “Slay him,” and he slew him. Why did he bring Sarah to so great an age? Because even while she was alive he listened to God more than to her. Therefore God said to him, “Listen to Sarah your wife.” No one then provoked God through love of a husband, or of a wife, or through the protection of a child. But now, since we are bent downward and have fallen very low, and we men love our wives more than God, and we women prefer our husbands to God, for this reason he draws us even against our will into longing for himself. Do not love your husband more than God, and you will never feel widowhood; or rather, even if it happens, you will not feel it. Why? Because you have as protector the one you love more, who is immortal. If you love God more, do not mourn; for the one more loved is immortal, and does not allow you to feel the loss of the one less loved. I will make this plain to you by an example. Tell me, if you have a husband who does everything as you wish, who is in good repute, who makes you distinguished everywhere and not to be despised, esteemed by all, prudent, wise, loving you, and you are called blessed on his account, and with him you also bear a child, and then this child dies before it comes to the prime of life, will you feel the grief? Not at all; for the one more loved hides that. And now if you love God more than your husband, in the first place he will not quickly take him; but if he does take him, you will have no feeling of the grief. Therefore the blessed Job too suffered nothing terrible when he heard of the sudden death of his children, since he loved God more than them. While the one he loved was alive, then, those things were not going to grieve him. What do you say, woman? Did your husband and child protect you, and does God not spare you? Who gave you that very man? Was it not he? And who made you? Was it not he? He who brought you from nothing into being, breathed a soul into you, put a mind in you, deigned to grant you knowledge of himself, and did not spare his only-begotten Son for your sake, does he not spare you, while your fellow servant [protected you]? How great wrath do these words deserve! What did you have from your husband like this? You could say nothing. For even if he benefited you, he did so having received benefit, or because you had first done him good; but in the case of God no one could say anything of the kind. For God does not benefit us because he has received good from us; but, needing nothing, he does good to the human race from goodness alone. He promised you a kingdom, immortal life, glory; he gave you brotherhood, adoption; he made you joint heir of the Only-begotten; and do you still remember your husband after so many good things? What did that man bestow like this? He makes his sun rise, he gave the rain, he feeds you with the yearly food. Woe to us for our great ingratitude! Therefore he takes your husband, so that you may not seek him; and do you still hold to him when he has departed, and leave God, when you ought to give thanks, when you ought to cast everything upon him? For what is it that you received from your husband? Birth pangs and toils and insults and abuse, often, and rebukes and indignation. Are not these what come from husbands? “But there are other good things too,” she says. What are these? Did he adorn you with costly garments? Did he put gold about your face? Did he make you respected by all? But if you wish, even when he has departed, [God] will adorn you with a far better adornment; for modesty makes its possessor far more admirable than gold. This king too has garments, not such as those, but far better: put those on, if you will. What are these? It is a robe with golden fringes: if you will, clothe your soul with this. “But did not he make me hard to despise among men?” And what great thing is this? Widowhood, however, does not let you be despised by the demons. Then you ruled your servants, if you ruled at all; but now, in place of servants, you rule the bodiless powers, the principalities, the authorities, the world-ruler. And you do not mention the painful things you shared with him: if ever there was fear of rulers, if ever there were defeats by neighbours. From all these you are now released, from fear and dread. “But who will rear the children left to me?” are you anxious? The Father of orphans. For who gave them, tell me? Do you not hear Christ saying in the Gospels, “Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”