Recognitions 7.8–7.36

Then Peter said: “Is no one of your family really left to you?” I answered: “There are indeed many powerful men descended from the line of Caesar. For Caesar himself joined to my father, as his kinsman and one brought up with him, a wife from an equally noble family, by whom he had twin sons before me, not very much alike, as my father said; for I did not know them well. Nor do I even remember my mother much, but I recall the appearance of her face faintly, as if in a dream. My mother was called Mattidia, my father Faustinianus, and of my brothers one was called Faustinus and the other Faustus. Meanwhile, when I was barely five years old, my mother, as I learned from my father, saw a dream warning that unless she left the city at once with her two twin sons and stayed away for ten years, she would perish together with her children by a terrible death.

“Then my father, who loved his sons tenderly, gave them male and female slaves and provided sufficient means, put the sons with their mother on a ship, and sent them to Athens to be educated, keeping me, his only son, with him for comfort—and giving thanks for this at least, that the dream had not ordered me too to leave with my mother. When a year had passed, my father sent men and money to them at Athens, wishing at the same time to know how they were doing; but those who were sent did not return. Again in the third year my father, in great sorrow, sent others with money, who came back in the fourth year and reported that they had seen neither my mother nor my brothers, that they had not reached Athens at all, and that no trace had been found anywhere of any of those who had been with them.

“When my father heard this, stunned with great sadness and not knowing where to turn or where to search, he went down with me to the harbor and began to ask the sailors whether any of them had seen or heard of the body of a woman with two little children being cast ashore at any time in the last four years. Though many said many things, and nothing became clear to us as we searched so immense a sea, my father, because of the great affection he bore his family, fed on vain hopes, until he decided to leave me at Rome under guardians, since I was twelve years old, and go himself to search. So he went down to the harbor weeping, boarded a ship, and set out. From then until today I have received no letter from him, nor do I know whether he is alive or dead. But I rather suspect that he too has died, either overcome by sadness or by shipwreck; for twenty years have passed since these things happened, and not even a messenger has come to me about him.”

When Peter heard this he shed tears out of compassion, and said to the companions who were present: “If someone engaged in the worship of God had endured what this man's father has endured, men would at once ascribe the cause of his troubles to religion; but when these things happen to wretched Gentiles, they ascribe the cause of their evils to fate. I call them wretched because they are both tormented by errors here and cheated of the hope to come. When worshipers of God suffer these things, what they bear patiently serves for the purging of their sins.”

After these words, one of those standing by began to ask Peter that early the next day we should go to the nearby island called Aradus, not more than six stadia away, to see a remarkable work there: columns of vine-wood of immense size. Peter, most kind as he was, agreed, but warned us when we had gone down to the ship not all to rush together to look; “for I do not want you,” he said, “to be noticed by the crowd.” So when on the next day we had come to the island by ship within the space of an hour, we at once hurried to the place where the marvelous columns were. They were placed in a certain temple, in which there were very magnificent works of Phidias, and each of us was held fixed in gazing at them.

But Peter, having admired only the vine-wood columns and not at all carried away by the charm of the paintings, went out and saw before the doors a poor woman begging alms from those going in. Looking at her more attentively, he said: “Tell me, woman, what limb of your body is missing, that you have subjected yourself to this indignity of begging alms, instead of seeking food by working with the hands you received from God?” She sighed and said: “Would that I had hands that could move! Now only the appearance of hands is kept, for they are dead, made weak and without feeling by my own biting.” Peter said: “What was the reason that you brought so great an evil on yourself?” “Weakness of spirit,” she said, “and nothing else. For if there had been any courage in me, I could have thrown myself from a cliff or into the depth of the sea and put an end to my griefs.”

Then Peter said: “Do you really think, woman, that those who destroy themselves are freed from punishments? Rather, the souls of those who lay hands on themselves are subject to greater penalties.” She said: “If only it were made certain to me that souls live in the underworld, I would gladly embrace even the penalties of a self-inflicted death, if only I might see my sweet children for at least one hour.” Peter said: “I should like to know what it is that afflicts you with so heavy a sadness. For if you would tell me the cause, I too could show you plainly, woman, that souls live in the underworld; and instead of the cliff or the deep, I could give you some remedy so that you might end your life without torment.”

Then the woman, gladly accepting this promise, began to say: “What my family and country are, I think is neither easily believed nor necessary to say; it is enough to explain the cause of my grief, why I made my own hands weak by biting them. Born of noble parents and married to an equally powerful man, I bore two twin children, and after them one other. But my husband's brother burned violently with unlawful love for me. Since chastity was my care above all, and I was willing neither to consent to so great a crime nor to reveal his brother's wickedness to my husband, I considered how I might escape undefiled and not make the brother an enemy and foe to his brother, so as not to bring the whole race of a noble family into disgrace. So I decided to leave my country and city with my two twins until the incestuous love should subside, which perhaps my presence was fostering and inflaming; the other son, I thought, should remain for his father's comfort.

“But so that this might be done, I invented a dream, as if some divinity stood by me in a vision and told me to leave the city at once with my twins and stay away until he himself told me to return; and that if I did not do so, I would perish together with all my children. And so it was done. For as soon as I told the dream to my husband, he was alarmed, and, joining to me the two sons, with male and female slaves, and giving abundant money, he ordered me to sail to Athens, where I could also educate the children—‘to stay there,’ he said, ‘until it seems good to him who ordered you to leave that you should return to us.’ Meanwhile, sailing with my children, I was driven, unhappy woman, to these places by the violence of the winds in a shipwreck by night; and when all had perished, a stronger wave seized me, cruelly preserved, and threw me on a rock. Sitting there, only in the hope that I might perhaps find my children, I did not throw myself into the deep—then, when my soul, still distraught and drunk with griefs, both dared and was able to do it.

“But when day had risen, and I, with cries and wailing, was looking around for my unhappy children, to see whether I could at least see their bodies cast ashore, some of those who had seen me were moved by pity and searched first over the sea and then along the shores, in case they might find any of my children. But when none was found anywhere, the women of the place, pitying me, began to comfort me, each telling her own miseries, so that I might take comfort from the likeness of calamities. This saddened me the more, for I was not of such a disposition as to count the evils of others a comfort for my own. And when many wished to receive me as a guest, one poor woman who lives here prevailed on me to come into her hut, saying that she had had a husband, a sailor, who died young at sea, and that from that day, though many wished to take her in marriage, widowhood had been dearer to her out of love for her husband. ‘So,’ she said, ‘whatever we can earn by working with our hands shall be common to us.’

“And not to use a long and unprofitable story, I gladly lived with her because of the faithful affection she had kept for her husband. But not long after, my hands, unhappy as I am, long torn by biting, became powerless; and she who had taken me in fell into paralysis and lies in bed at home. The affection of those women who had pitied me before has grown cold. We are both helpless; I, as you see, sit begging alms, and whatever I happen to get becomes the one meal of two unhappy women. See, you have now heard enough of my affairs; why do you delay to fulfill what you promised, and to give a remedy by which each of us may end her miserable life without torment, as you say?”

While she was saying this, Peter, distracted by much thought, stood as if thunderstruck. And I, Clement, coming up, said: “I have long been running everywhere looking for you; and now what are we to do?” He told me to go ahead to the boat. “Wait for me there,” he said. And because he could not be contradicted, I did what he ordered. But he, as he afterwards told me everything, struck by a certain suspicion, asked the woman her family and country and the names of her sons. “If you tell me these,” he said, “I will give you the remedy at once.” She, as though under compulsion—because she did not want to confess these things and yet desired the remedy—invented one thing after another, and said that she was an Ephesian and her husband a Sicilian, and likewise changed the names of her sons. Then Peter, thinking she had answered truly, said: “Alas, woman! I thought some great joy would arise for us today; for I suspected you were a certain woman about whom I recently learned some similar things on good faith.” But she adjured him, saying: “I beg you to tell me who she is, so that I may know whether there is any woman more unhappy than I.”

Then Peter, who did not know how to deceive, and moved by pity, began to say: “There is a certain young man among those who follow me for the sake of religion and of the way, a Roman citizen, who told me that he had a father and two twin brothers, of whom none is left to him. ‘My mother,’ he said, ‘as I learned from my father, saw a dream that she should leave the city of Rome for a time with her two twin children, lest they perish by a deadly destruction; and when she had left, she never appeared again anywhere on earth. And my father, after this, set out to search for his wife and sons, and he too is not found.’”

When Peter had said this, the woman, struck with amazement, collapsed. Peter began to hold her and comfort her, and to ask what was the matter or what she was suffering. Scarcely at last recovering her breath, and gathering herself for the greatness of the joy she hoped for, and at the same time rubbing her face, she said: “Where is this young man you speak of?” When Peter understood the matter, he said: “You tell me first; otherwise you cannot see him.” Then she said: “I am the young man's mother.” Peter said: “What is his name?” She said: “Clement.” Peter said: “It is he, and he it was who was speaking with me a little while ago, and whom I told to go ahead to the ship.” Then she fell at Peter's feet and began to beg him to hurry to the ship. Peter said: “If you will keep faith with me and do what I say.” She said: “I will do everything; only show me my only son, for I think that through him I shall see my twins too.” Peter said: “When you see him, just conceal it a little meanwhile, until we have left the island.” “I will do so,” she said.

Holding her hand, Peter led her to the ship. When I saw him giving his hand to a woman, I began to laugh; yet, coming up out of respect for him, I wanted to put my hand under hers in his place and support the woman. But as soon as I touched her hand, she gave a great cry, rushed into my arms, and began to cover me with a mother's kisses. I, knowing nothing of the whole affair, pushed her away as a madwoman, and at the same time, though with respect, I was somewhat indignant with Peter.

But he said: “Stop! What are you doing, my son Clement? Do not push away your mother.” When I heard this, at once bathed in tears I fell upon my mother lying there and began to kiss her. For as soon as I heard it, I gradually recalled her face to memory, and the more I looked, the more familiar it became to me. Meanwhile a very great crowd gathered, hearing that the woman who used to sit begging alms had been recognized by her son, a good man. And when we wished to sail at once from the island, my mother said to me: “Sweetest son, it is right that I say farewell to the poor woman who took me in; for she is needy and paralyzed, lying in her bed.” When Peter and all who were present heard this, they admired the goodness and prudence of the woman, and Peter at once ordered some to go and bring the woman on the bed where she lay. When she had been brought and placed in the middle of the crowd standing by, Peter said in the sight of all: “If I am a herald of the truth, to confirm the faith of all these who stand by, so that they may know and believe that there is one God who made heaven and earth, in the name of Jesus Christ his Son let this woman rise.” As soon as he had said this, she rose healed and fell at Peter's feet; and, kissing her friend and companion, she asked her what all this meant. She briefly told her the whole course of the recognition, so that the crowds standing by also marveled.

Then Peter, having spoken to the crowds about faith in God and the institutions of religion, as far as it concerned him and as much as time allowed, added this as well: if anyone wished to know these things more thoroughly, let him come to Antioch, “where,” he said, “we have decided to stay three months and teach what pertains to salvation. For if men leave their country and parents for the sake of trade or military service, and do not fear to undertake long journeys abroad, why should it seem burdensome and difficult to go abroad for at least three months for eternal life?” When he had said this and other things like it, I gave a thousand drachmas to the woman who had taken in my mother and had received health through Peter, and in the presence of all I commended her to a good man, a leading citizen of that town, who promised that he would gladly do what we asked. I also distributed some money to certain others, and to those women who were said to have once comforted my mother in her miseries, and I thanked them. After this we sailed with my mother to Antaradus.

When we had come to the lodging, my mother began to ask me what had become of my father. I said to her: “He set out to look for you and never came back.” When she heard this she only sighed; for having great joy on my account, she consoled her other griefs. On the following day she travelled with us, sitting together with Peter's wife, and we came to Balaneae, where we stayed three days; from there we went to Paltus, and after that to Gabala, and so we reached Laodicea. Before the gates Niceta and Aquila met us, kissed us, and took us to the lodging. Peter, seeing the large and splendid city, said: “It is worthwhile for us to stay in it ten days or even more.” Then Niceta and Aquila asked me who this unknown woman was. I answered: “She is my mother, whom God has given back to me through my lord Peter.”

When I had said this, Peter began to explain everything to them in order, and said: “When we had come to Aradus and I had told you to go ahead, after you left, that same day, when an occasion for conversation arose, Clement told me his family and household: that he had been bereaved of his parents and had had two twin brothers older than himself. ‘And as my father told me,’ he said, ‘my mother once saw a dream in which she was ordered to leave the city of Rome with her twins, lest they suddenly perish together. When she told the dream to my father, he, who loved his sons with tender affection, so that they might not suffer some harm, put his wife and sons on a ship with all necessities and sent them to Athens to be educated. After this he sent once and again to inquire, and found not even a trace of her anywhere. At last my father himself set out to search, and up to the present he too is nowhere.’ When Clement had told me this, someone came to us asking us to go to the nearby island of Aradus to see vine-wood columns of wonderful size. I agreed; we came to the place; all the others went into the inner part of the temple, but I, for some reason I do not know, had no wish to go further in.

“But while I waited for them outside, I began to observe this woman, in what part of her limbs she was disabled, that she did not seek a living by the labor of her hands but submitted to the shame of begging. So I asked her the reasons. She confessed that she was born of a noble family and joined in marriage to a husband no less noble, ‘whose brother,’ she said, ‘inflamed with unlawful love for me, wished to defile his brother's bed. I abhorred this, and yet did not dare to reveal so great a crime to my husband, lest I should bring war upon the brothers and disgrace upon the family; so I judged it better to leave my country with my two twin sons, leaving the younger boy to comfort his father. And so that this might be done with an honorable appearance,’ she said, ‘I thought of inventing a dream and telling my husband that some divinity had stood by me in a vision and told me to leave the city at once with my two twins until I should hear from him when I ought to return.’ She said that when her husband heard this he believed it and sent her with the twins to Athens to have them educated there; but they had been driven by a severe storm to this island, where, the ship being broken up, she was cast by a wave onto a rock, and she had put off death only ‘until,’ she said, ‘I might embrace at least the dead limbs of my unhappy children and commit them to burial. But when day had risen and crowds had gathered, moved by pity they threw me a garment. And I, unhappy, with many tears begged them to search, in case they could find the little bodies of my unhappy children anywhere. And tearing my whole body with my teeth, with laments and wailings I cried out nothing else but: Where is my Faustus, unhappy woman that I am? Where is Faustinus?’”

While Peter was saying this, Niceta and Aquila suddenly stood up and, astounded, began to be agitated, saying: “Lord and Ruler, God of all, are these things true, or is what is happening a dream?” Then Peter said: “Unless we are mad, these things are true.” After a short pause, rubbing their faces, they said: “We are Faustinus and Faustus. From the beginning, when you began to tell the story, we at once suspected that what was being said might concern us; yet again, considering that many similar things happen in men's lives, we kept silent, though our heart was beating with some hope. So we were waiting for the end of the story, so that if it were clearly established that it was wholly about us, we might then declare it.” When they had said this, they went in weeping to their mother. When they found her asleep and wanted to embrace her, Peter prevented them, saying: “Let me first prepare your mother's mind and so present you to her, lest by great and sudden joy she lose her mind and her senses be disturbed, especially since she is now still dazed with sleep.”

So when the mother rose from sleep, Peter began to speak to her, saying: “I want you to know, woman, the observance of our religion. We worship one God, who made the world, and we keep his law, which commands first of all that he be worshiped and his name venerated, parents honored, and chastity and justice kept. We also observe this: not to share a table with Gentiles unless they have believed and, having received the truth, have been baptized and consecrated by a certain threefold invocation of the blessed name; and then we take food with them. Otherwise, even if they are father or mother, or wife or children or brothers, we cannot share a table with them. Since, then, we do this chiefly for the sake of religion, do not think it an injury that your son cannot take food with you until you hold the same conviction of faith as he.”

When she heard this, she said: “And what prevents me from being baptized today? Even before I saw you, I had wholly turned away from those they call gods, because, though I sacrificed to them often and almost daily, they could do nothing for me. And what shall I say of chastity? Neither did luxuries deceive me then, nor has poverty compelled me to sin now. I think you have been sufficiently informed how great my love of chastity has been from the start, since, to escape the snares of unlawful love, I invented a dream so as to go abroad with my two twins, and left this my only son Clement to comfort his father. For if two were scarcely enough for me, how much more would it have saddened his father if he had had none at all? For the poor man had great affection for his sons, so that the authority of the dream scarcely wrung from him the concession of Faustinus and Faustus, the brothers of this Clement, to me, while he himself was content with Clement alone.”

As she was saying this, my brothers, unable to bear it any longer, rushed into their mother's embrace with many tears and kissed her. She said: “What does this mean?” Then Peter said: “Do not be troubled, woman; be steady. These are Faustinus and Faustus, your sons, whom you said had perished in the deep. How they are alive, and how they escaped from the deep on that dreadful night, and how one of them is called Niceta and the other Aquila, they themselves will be able to tell you, and we too will hear it together with you.” When Peter said this, the mother, overcome by excessive joy, collapsed; and when at last she had recovered and come to herself, she said: “I beg you, my sweetest sons, tell me what happened to you after that deadly and most cruel night.”

Then Niceta began to say: “On that night, mother, when the ship had broken up and we, clinging to a piece of the planks, were being tossed about the sea, some men whose trade is robbery on the deep found us and put us in their boat; and overcoming the eddies of the waves with their oars, they brought us by various routes to Caesarea Stratonis. There they afflicted us with hunger, beatings, and fear, so that we would not betray the truth, and changing our names they sold us to a widow, a very honorable woman named Justa. When she had bought us, she held us in the place of sons, so that she even educated us most attentively in Greek letters and the liberal arts. When we grew up we also devoted ourselves to the studies of the philosophers, so that by philosophical disputations we might refute the Gentiles while asserting the doctrines of the divine religion.

“We attached ourselves to a certain Simon, a magician, who was brought up with us, out of friendship and childhood companionship, so that we were almost deceived by him. For there is a report in our religion about a certain prophet, whose coming was hoped for by all who serve this religion, through whom immortal and blessed life is promised to be given to believers. We thought, then, that this was Simon. But these things will be explained to you, mother, more fittingly later. Meanwhile, when we were almost deceived by Simon, a colleague of my lord Peter, named Zacchaeus, warned us not to be misled by the magician, and presented us to Peter when he arrived, so that we might be taught by him what was sound and perfect. We wish this to happen to you too, as God has granted it to us, so that we may also share food and table. This, then, is why you, mother, believed that we who had been carried off by pirates had died in the sea.”

When Niceta had said this, our mother fell at Peter's feet, asking and begging him to send for her hostess and herself without delay and baptize them, “so that,” she said, “I may not suffer the loss of the companionship and fellowship of my children even for one day.” Likewise we her sons also asked Peter. But he said: “What do you think—that I alone am unmerciful and do not want you to share a meal with your mother? But she must first fast at least one day and so be baptized. And this is because I heard a certain word from her by which her faith became clear to me and which gave evidence of her belief; otherwise she would have had to be instructed and taught for many days beforehand.”

I said: “I beg you, my lord Peter, tell me what this word is that you say has given you evidence of her faith.” Peter said: “It is the word by which she asked that her hostess too, whose kindnesses she desires to repay, be baptized together with her. She would not ask that this grace be given to one she loves unless she believed that there is some great gift in baptism. Hence I also blame very many who, though they themselves are baptized and believe, yet do nothing worthy of faith toward those they love—that is, wives or children or friends—whom they do not urge to what they themselves have obtained, if indeed they truly believe that eternal life is given through it. For if they see them sick or exposed to some bodily danger, they grieve and mourn, because in this they are sure that ruin threatens them. So, if they were also sure of this, that the punishment of eternal fire awaits those who do not worship God, when would they stop warning and exhorting? Or if they resisted, how would they not mourn and lament them, being sure that punishments threaten them? Now, then, we will send for that woman afterward and see whether she loves the faith of our religion, and we will act as follows from that. But this woman, since she has thought faithfully about baptism, let her fast at least one day before baptism.”

But she gave assurance with an oath, in the presence of the wife of my lord Peter, that from the time she recognized her son she had been wholly unable to take food for great joy, except that yesterday she had drunk only a cup of water. Peter's wife also testified, saying that it was so. Aquila said: “What then prevents her from being baptized?” Then Peter, smiling, said: “But this is not a fast of baptism, since it was not fasted for the sake of baptism.” Niceta said: “But perhaps God, not wishing our mother to be separated from the fellowship of our table even for one day after recognizing us, preordained this, that she should fast beforehand. For as she kept chastity in ignorance so that it might profit her for the grace of baptism, so she fasted before she knew the reason for fasting, so that it might profit her for baptism, and she might enjoy fellowship at table with us from the very beginning of our recognition.”